Justin Finch-Fletchley (justin_sfh) wrote in steadfast_heart,
Justin Finch-Fletchley

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He spun the light catcher around as he sat by the window in his dorm room. It had been a stupid purchase, but he had still put it with his other things on the counter. Now, weeks later, he wondered why he had bought it. Surely he wouldn't really send it to her. Sometimes he thought yes but then he talked himself out of it.

This simple piece of wire and glass reminded him of her. It seemed to suit her - at least, as he remembered her. Grabbing a piece of parchment before he could talk himself of out it again, he wrote a note:

Dear Padma,
I saw this the other day in Hogsmeade and thought of you. Please accept this gift in the spirit it was intended - as a simple gesture of friendship and apology.

He sat his quill down in frustration and took a lap around the empty room. That he would even think of asking for forgiveness made him ill. She deserved more than just words. How could he expect her to forget what an idiot he had been...was still being? Terry had said that he was wrong in his assumptions and he could believe it. Look how wrong he had been about Susan, although he felt a little better knowing that he had been right about Tracy. After she sicced the hulking Goyle on him, even Ernie was starting to admit that he had been completely wrong about her. Justin rubbed the sore knuckles and smiled as he remembered the look on the othe boys face when he had gotten to the scene with Wayne. The two of them had ended the fight before it started to go downhill and Ernie had only needed one of Madame Pomfrey's potions.

"Concentrate on the task at hand," he growled, picking up the quill once again, dipping it into the ink with care.

I don't deserve your friendship after the way I acted but please let my apology help smooth out some of the wrong I've done. I miss you.

He pulled out his wand and wiped out that last sentence. Too much. It was true but he didn't want to scare her off. Everyday, it was becoming both easier and harder to live without her. Too many times he was spending time up here by himself or out on the Quidditch pitch instead of being around people like he knew he should.

I hope this makes you smile when you see it. For some reason, it reminded me of you when I saw it.


The wand came back out even though he paused before erasing it, savoring the look of the word. No, he didn't deserve her love. Not anymore. Not after the way he acted.

Your friend,

He erased that too, finally just signing JFF.

Before he lost his nerve, he folded the paper over the small gift and ran to the owlery, virtually ignoring everyone he saw. The owl he chose looked at him distainfully when he gave it the directions, but flew off before he could think twice.

There. It was done. He walked back to his chair by the window and contemplated Quidditch moves.
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